Matt Walsh thinks you ought to be deported if you shop on Thanksgiving. Why? Because there ought to be a day that no one shops. Maybe he could decree that day on Tuesday instead of Thanksgiving.
But then we can go deeper still, and talk about the value of tradition and family, and whether our obsession with consuming products and merchandise has made it harder for us to appreciate both of those things. So I don’t know if you’ll follow me on this one or not, but I feel very strongly about it. We should be able to cool it for one day — just one day — and enjoy something that isn’t sold on a rack at Target.
As in ALL reasons that people want to make rules for your life Matt has determined that you ARE to have a nice Thanksgiving at home with your family, giving thanks. It doesn’t matter what sort of family you have, how far away you live from them, whether you’ve just moved to a new location, whether you really aren’t fond of people at all, you WILL have a nice Thanksgiving surrounded by people, just not shoppers.
Oh and by the way, you MUST celebrate this sacred day on Thursday next week. Even though you can earn double time and a half, you are NOT to eat your big meal of thanksgiving on Friday or on Wednesday, it MUST be Thursday else we deport you.
Oh – but wait, we do have exceptions. Hospitals, police, gas stations (going to grandmother’s house you know), hotels, and those servants who are to serve the food at Matt’s elitist abode where he gets to decree what you are to do on Thanksgiving day itself. Grocery stores? How about that…when you’ve forgotten the milk, should they be open? Or just the gas station groceries? I’m not real clear on the line. Something to do with consumerism. So I suppose we ought to shut down the internet lest anyone peruse a new coat there. Restaurants are probably ok for those people who can’t cook. But what about McDonalds? Should people be allowed to eat a Big Mac on Thanksgiving?
Let me know.
UPDATE: I need to ht Maggie’s Farm
And as long as I’m here….broadcasters still should work and provide entertainment, football players, those involved in the Macy’s day parade. It’s just your form of entertainment that is verboten. Shopping. No can do. You have consumed enough already.